The Worst Tradition in Sports

   

      There really isn't much I don't love about going to any professional sporting event. Maybe the lines to get booze and chicken tenders. I will literally enjoy myself at just about anything where I can root for a home team. However there is one tradition that is done at most sporting events that I despise. The wave. 

    7th inning stretch? Love it. Halftime shows? Of course. The wave? Send that shit straight into the sun to burn for eternity. It has to be the most annoying tradition ever. 95% of the time when that baby starts my ass has a hot dog and beer in either hand and every time it comes around I have to put them on the dirty ass ground just to get up and throw my hands in the air. And you don't wanna be that guy that doesn't do anything because heaven forbid you get thrown on to the jumbotron that's humiliation city. 

    I honestly don't that it would be that bad of a tradition if it went around once everyone woo'd and we called it a day, but no that baby goes around like 10 god damn times. In the middle of the game too. By the 9th time it's like a work out. I did not pay 60 bucks a ticket just to do god damn pilates for 30 minutes. 

    There has to be a cooler tradition that we can make a thing instead of this dumbass one. My suggestion? Thank you for asking. I have always thought that instead of the wave the whole stadium does a unified chug. Everyone in the last half, 8th inning, 4th quarter whatever is the final stretch of the game, stands up raises their drink in the air and chugs all at the same time. How fucking cool of a moment would that be? It would be picture city. 3 minutes left in the 4th quarter game is tied star player at the line shooting two and the whole crowd raises their drink in the air? Goosebumps. Middle of the 7th and the 8th home team just scored 3 runs putting them up by 1 as they take the field every cup in the god damn stadium is raised ready to suck down  10 bucks worth of light beer. Take all of my money now. Now picture having to stand up every 2 minutes and putting your hands in the air. I'm taking chugging every day of the week and twice on Sunday.