The REAL reason to get a Girlfriend

    

     Now don't get me wrong there are a lot of perks about having a girlfriend in this wonky ass life of ours. But there is one SINGULAR reason that above all else makes being in a relationship worth it. Brunch. 

    Brunch is single handedly the greatest food outing of all time. Nothing will ever beat it. And sure you can go with your buddies once in awhile, but with a significant other you can go whenever you want. Waffles and a burger with a side of bottomless mimosas? Getting absolutely blitzed over a bacon egg and cheese on a Sunday afternoon?  I mean come on man it's the greatest thing in the world. 

    You are literally combining my two favorite things ever, day drinking and breakfast. And sure you could go get lunch somewhere and get hammered or go out to dinner and knock em back, but there is something so blissful about the combination of the two. And you now have an excuse to drink stuff that you would normally NEVER order at a bar. When was the last time you went into a club, bar, or restaurant and ordered a mimosa? You are lying if you say anything but never. I love those little fuckers man.

    It truly is the ultimate time. I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. The best part about brunch is that you can leave brunch piss drunk around 1 or 2 and now you have an option that you would never have after a night out. You can either head home and go take a nap OR you can make a real bender out of that bad Larry. You are day drunk which means you are no longer exhausted to the point where you have to go home. You can take that nice buzz and hit a day game, catch a tan, or even head to a bbq. There are so many options after brunch drunk that you could never do after a night of drinking. 

    In summary next time you are with a lil baddie and your are weighing your options on whether or not you want to be tied down, first of all do it you and I both know you are kind of an ugly fucker and you should be taking what you can get, but ALSO make sure that you're thinking about all of the raspberry mimosas and blueberry pancakes you can possibly eat and multiply that by infinity. 

DYE UP